Sister Alice Marie O’Shaughnessy, CSJ

Alice was born on July 12, 1934, to her loving parents Lucy and John O’Shaughnessy. After graduating from Our Lady of Victory elementary school, Alice attended the Mary Louis Academy, graduating in 1952.  In 1954, Alice responded to the call to enter the Sisters of Saint Joseph and for the next 71 years lived as faithful daughter of Joseph and beloved member of this congregation.

Alice’s BA in Science from Saint John’s University prepared her for her medical studies at Marquette University, where she was awarded her medical degree cum laude in June 1969.  Over her long years of service as an award-winning internist, Alice also received an Advanced Certificate in Geriatrics as well as an Advanced certification in Hospice and Palliative Medicine 2006.

Many of us in the congregation, both here today, and those deceased, were blessed to have Alice as a doctor.  Smart, intuitive, skilled, knowledgeable, patient: Alice was all that. But she was so much more, she was a woman who knew herself to be carrying forward the healing ministry of Jesus. Like Jesus, Alice didn’t simply treat illness, but listened deeply, recognizing that health encompasses body, mind and spirit. And so in her own way, Alice was not only a healer but a kind of spiritual director, attentive to the whole person, treating the body while nourishing the spirit.  Besides typical scripts, Alice’s Rxs, ranged from ‘go home and have beer’ to “go and do something relaxing and distracting for yourself.” Alice always treated the whole person, and like Jesus, demonstrated genuine care, concern and love for each of her patients, whether young, old or at death’s door.

As a Congregation we were blessed beyond measure to have Alice among us. She was curious about birds, organisms, plants, animals -anything that had life. She was blessed with a sharp intellect that allowed her to raise urgent and sometimes uncomfortable questions. But that was all good and we will miss all of her: mind, body and spirit.

In her last days and hours, Alice struggled with her diminishing abilities and pain.  However, with the care of loved ones and hospice, she found peace.  Now she is united with her parents, her deceased relatives, friends, and all those she loved. Today all of us, we the living and those of our deceased who benefited from Alice’s care, join in one loud chorus of praise and thanksgiving to God for Alice, for Dr. O!  Before she saw in a mirror dimly, now she sees God face to face, enjoying the eternal life promised to all those in Christ who have imitated him in self-emptying love and care for others. That was Alice’s life in a nutshell: a life of self-emptying love and care for others We send you off Alice with our esteem, love and gratitude, and we say to you: “Well done, good and faithful servant, … Enter into the joy of your lord.”

And now, Alice’s dear friend Lauren will share a glimpse of Alice from one who has shared life with her for 52 years.

As family, friend and/or colleague each of us has been a part of Alice’s life’s journey.  As I look around at all of you gathered here, I can hear Alice saying to me in utter amazement.    “Why, are all these people here?”   Right up to her last days she was surprised whenever someone expressed their love or admiration.  In all sincerity she would say, “But why?  I just live my life the best I can.”

Alice never realized the extraordinary way she did just that.  She lived an – other focused life.  It was never about her.  Her incredible intelligence, quick wit, creativity, as well as her many skills and abilities were in her eyes truly gifts.  She felt she did nothing to deserve them.  Her responsibility, she believed, was to develop them and put them at the service of others.  …and Alice did that very well.

While those who love her were not ready, she was very ready to enter the fulness of life with her God.  She told me a number of times that she did not want to leave the people she loved and this beautiful world but it was time.

In her own words, written in documents expressing her end of life wishes she articulated her thoughts about death.  …and I quote…

“I believe in the sacredness and giftedness of human life.  I also believe that death is the final act in human life and the doorway to a new and eternal life.”

“I believe that life is a gift from God. I have been gifted with many blessings, family, friends, community and work that I loved.  I have come to appreciate that death is a natural part of life. I am not afraid of my own death; I see it as an opportunity to hand myself over to the God who gave me life.”

Handing over her life was the way she lived every day, until her final breath.

So, as we gather today to celebrate her life, I will reflect with you on a few of the ways she poured out her life and I know each of you can add your own stories.

I first met Alice in the late 60’s, she was doing her residency and we were living in the same convent; what she valued was evident. A belief that was at the heart of who she was.  – respect and care for all people and the natural world.

My first experience of this was when I had a fender bender in her car. Everyone in the convent where we lived was concerned about the car and what Alice’s reaction would be.  She was on overnight call and I asked for someone in the house to drive me to North Shore Hospital.  When I got there, we sat on the floor of the bathroom in the on-call room, her only concern was that I was okay.  She told me to always remember that nothing was more important than people. Who cares about the car, nobody was hurt and that is all that matters.

Thus began a friendship of over fifty-five-years.

A friendship that revealed what motivated her life – loving, caring, presence to the person she was with and always seeing the good and the potential in others.  Through the years, I saw this played out in how she lived each day.

Nurses telling me how grateful they were when she was on call because they knew it was never a problem, no matter what time they called her.  She was always patient, respecting their concerns and questions and genuinely interested in their assessment of the patient.

Patients telling me that they have never had a doctor who was so, caring, knowledgeable and willing to listen to them and explain in language they could understand the diagnosis and treatment.

A week before she died, when she was confused at times, she got a call from someone who had questions about their medical condition.  I sat in amazement as she explained each test and what it meant.  She was in her element.

In the last weeks of her life, the constant refrain I heard from others was I felt I mattered when I was with her.  From the plumber, to the gardener.  to the men from the K of C who helped us care for the house, to the neighbors, and friends she made in the parish, the refrain was always the same she listened, she was so knowledgeable about so many things, she was so funny.  I always felt better after spending time with her.

Examples are numerous, the week before she died, the ceiling, in the room her hospital bed was in started to leak.  I called our plumber and explained the situation.  When he arrived, he asked, is this the sister who always takes care of these things?

I said yes, and he started to cry.  She was so wonderful.  She always took time to talk with me and encourage me.

Or the young man who had struggled with addiction and used to come to help us with house chores who called sobbing. “She believed in me when I did not believe in myself.  She taught me so much.”

Those who cared for her here in MR who told me she was so kind and grateful, interested in their lives and their hopes and dreams.

Her pleasure at meeting the young hospice nurse beginning her career, asking her what called her to this privileged ministry and affirming what a good job she was doing.

Value for and encouragement of each person to become their best self was integral to who she was.  This also was given expression in who she was as a teacher.

Extraordinarily gifted in so many ways, Alice never believed she had something special, instead she simply shared all she knew by teaching others. From how to put up a tent, unclog a drain, fill out a health care proxy, understand palliative care, or name a bird, she was always delighted to share her knowledge without every making the other person feel inadequate.

Alice loved learning and was inquisitive and curious wondering why, how, what does that mean.  Until shortly before her death, she was still reading and listening to podcasts in so many diverse disciplines medicine, politics, spirituality, nature.

She loved being a Sister of Saint Joseph interested in and involved in all that was happening often offering insightful comments.  She participated, even when in MR, where she attended on Zoom the June 21^st Chapter Planning Meeting disappointed because she was too tired to be part of a small group.

For Alice no question was a foolish question and every question or situation provided an opportunity to learn.

A hospice nurse told me that her first weekend on call, Alice was the doctor on call.  She had a young patient who wanted to go to the beach once more before she died but her pain was so great everyone was afraid to take her.  Alice visited and gave her enough pain meds to make it possible for her to have this one last trip.  She then spent time with the nurse helping her to understand the radical difference between acute care nursing and hospice care.  The nurse told me it was a life changing experience for her.

At her retirement party, people were asked to share stories of their experiences with Alice.  One person after another shared stories about what Doctor O, had taught them. My favorite, the receptionist at the Hospice Center, shared that whenever a call came in that she did not now how to handle she would hope that Doctor O was in.  She knew she could ask her anything and she would not only answer the question but also explain how to handle it if ever came up again.

While teaching permeated her life her real passion was medicine.  As a young sister she took a risk and asked to go to medical school.  It just so happened that the General Superior had just been at a meeting where Congregational Leaders, discussed the value of having a sister who was a doctor.  When she returned Alice’s request was on her desk and the rest is history.

Starting in private practice which she loved, she was later asked to be the Medical Director in the newly opened Maria Regina Residence.  She said that it was here that her passion for Hospice work began.  Caring for our elderly sisters, she realized that geriatric medicine called for different modes of treatment and especially when caring for those who were preparing for death.  She set to learning everything she could about this evolving specialty geriatric medicine.

As many of you know after her fall on April 3^rd, she spent almost three months as a patient here.  It was a difficult and blessed time for her as she began the process of handing over her life in new ways.  Allowing others to care for her and accepting that she was no longer the care giver.

She loved celebrating Eucharist in this Chapel and in a particular way the Holy Week Liturgies, often quoting Fr Tom’s comment as he began the Good Friday Liturgy.  “What a blessing it is to celebrate this Liturgy with the broken body of Christ.”  She would tell me that was the gift and blessing of her life to walk with the sick, and hurting body of Christ.

While she loved Sacred Heart Chapel, it was her desire to be buried from this Chapel, in the place where the seeds of her future ministry were planted.

While she was ministering here in MR the importance of hospice was just beginning to be recognized.  Mercy Hospital was starting an at-home hospice program. She was invited to be a doctor on the team.

She never looked back; she had found her special calling in medicine.  Alice was an integral part of the growth of Hospice Care on Long Island, the merging of the three Catholic Hospices and became the first Medical Director of the new Good Shepherd Hospice.

Recognizing that it was time to retire as Medical Director, she began going to the in-patient hospice facility in Port Jefferson three days a week.

The most painful decision of her life was saying goodbye to this ministry she loved.

If Alice, was asked to submit a resume, you would see that she never stopped learning taking both the Geriatric Boards and the Hospice Boards the first time they were offered loving the challenge and passing with ease.  She won awards, was honored often, taught numerous workshops did ground breaking work in Hospice Medicine and Medical Ethics, changed the direction of Bishop Mc Gann’s Pastoral Letter “Finding Peace As Life Ends.” from a focus on why assisted suicide is wrong to articulating the Catholic Church’s rich message on death and dying.

If you commented on all her accomplishments, she would brush you off.

These were not what she saw as important.  Patient care, teaching and mentoring others were her life’s passions.  Even as she was dying, she was delighted to see in those who cared for her, their dedication and love for hospice. As one nurse said, her legacy is those who learned from her and who are now teaching others.

Alice rarely got angry but was infuriated by anything less than competent, loving, compassionate care for the sick and elderly.

Alice came to believe that her ministry and that of the many who lovingly and compassionately care for the sick, is the visible presence of God’s healing love in this world.

She, never saw herself as a religious person, she would say to me you do the prayer stuff and I will take care of the practical stuff.

However, she had a deep spirituality, a love for the Eucharist and for prayer.

All of God’s creation was truly the book of revelation for her.  Long before we were talking about Creation Spirituality, she understood it intuitively and it fed her soul.  She loved the outdoors, camping, hiking, working in the soil, walking the beach, watching sunrises and sunsets, and the changing seasons and the birds she watched as she prayed each morning.

Her time in the Berkshires was always special for her.  The other great loss in Alice’s life was when she had to admit she could no longer go to the Berkshires and be with her beloved family and especially her nieces and their families.

Often, she told me that it was when she was out in nature, that she experienced God’s presence.

During the last year and especially the last four months of her life, I was privileged to journey with her through a major transition.  As we prayed and shared each morning, she often reflected on her life.  She moved from being frustrated by what she could not do to a quiet acceptance of a new reality.  She was becoming the receiver not the doer.

Simultaneously she still had her strong will and was determined to take as much charge of her life as possible.  She wanted an active part in every decision.  I will tell you what I can do was a frequent refrain.  One night as I was giving her meds in applesauce, she told me she didn’t want any more.  I insisted she took it and promptly spit it out.  I told you I didn’t want any more.  A while later she said I will take it now.

Alice made the decision to enter Hospice Care. She knew, she wanted what she tried to provide for so many a peaceful, as pain free as possible journey home to her God in the place she loved.

The doctor on the team caring for her, had been a colleague, and Alice told her, how privileged and blessed she was for her years working for Hospice but now she was so grateful to be the recipient of the loving care of the Hospice staff.

We talked about how she had come to see that what was most important in life was not what you did but the way you lived your life.  She said, I want to be able to say at the end of each day, that I tried my best to be kind and loving and to use my gifts for the good of others.   I am sorry for the times my insensitivity hurt others or I was blind to their needs.

Gratitude was a given for Alice, she never took kindness, help or gifts for granted.  She appreciated anything anyone ever did for her, from caring for her, helping in the house, shopping, providing food, etc. etc.

Thank you, You are so kind, I am so grateful were phrases she expressed so often.

I know she would want me to thank each one of you for your presence today, for your help in these last months, for your loving care for her, for  helping to prepare for and/or participating in today’s Liturgy.

…She would thank Father Seth our celebrant today.  When I asked her who she would like to preside at this Liturgy, she said if it is convenient for him, Fr Seth.  When I asked her why, she said because he was good to me but more importantly, he is so good to the sick and elderly.  We need priests like him who realize how important it is to attend to the spiritual needs of this vulnerable population.

and I know I expressed Alice’s deep gratitude as well as mine to Sister Chris, whose faithful care made it possible for her to have her last wish, to die at home in her prayer space surrounded by nature and the birds she loved.

While we leave here filled with our own experiences and memories of Alice, I think she would tell us to carry her in our hearts but more importantly remember that how we live our lives is far more important than what we accomplish.  Be kind, loving, compassionate, see and bring out the good in others.  Forgive easily and celebrate the gift of your life and our beautiful world.

Alice your life leaves us a legacy of what truly matters, may we honor it by bringing a little more love, kindness and healing to our broken world.

We know you will continue to walk with us loving us.

We will always love you and be grateful to you for being a part of the fabric of our lives.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sister Alice Marie O’Shaughnessy, the former Sister Mary Myron, died on August 1, 2025.